


Irn-Bru-On: The Gadge

by orphan_account



Category: Formula 1 RPF, Rush (2013)
Genre: ACTUAL GHOST STORY, Comedy, Launt Family!AU, M/M, but mostly slapstick and stupidity, horror (sometimes), who ya gonna call? Ghost!Jackie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-11
Updated: 2014-03-11
Packaged: 2018-01-15 09:49:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1300540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niki, James, and their adopted son Kimi move to a remote country location in search of a peaceful family life. However, they come into contact with a very strange and very Scottish poltergeist. And when said poltergeist begins to haunt Niki, life becomes difficult. Don't ask, your head will hurt. Just read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Irn-Bru-On: The Gadge

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY LET ME EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU BECAUSE IT PROBABLY MAKES ZERO FUCKING SENSE RIGHT NOW. So me and TheFlirtMeister were reading Seeing James together, and after noticing that Jackie Stewart seemed to turn up EVERYWHERE in that fic with ensuing hilarity, we began messing about with Stalker!Jackie, and then, out of nowhere, Ghost!Jackie was born. And it was funny as shit. SO here it is! Also, I did not spell 'house' wrong in the chapter title. Because I lack creativity, I'm taking the titles from various horror films and making them 'Scottish.' Scots say 'house' like 'hoose.' Also, a 'gadge' is slang for an old bloke, hence the title of this fic.
> 
> I URGE you not to try and make any sense of this, or take it seriously. Because you'll probably have an aneurysm.

_ 1: The Hoose at the End of the Street _

                Niki shifted baby Kimi from one arm to the other so that he could slam the car door shut behind them, and looked yearningly upwards at their new home. Lay atop a hill, and with a look that was endearingly similar to that of a cabin, it was precisely everything that James and Niki were looking for: somewhere quiet and remote, where they could begin family life without any bother from the media. “What do you think, Kimi?” Niki asked, holding Kimi up so that he could see. The baby simply burbled, and hid his face in Niki’s chest, shielding his eyes from the morning sun.

                James wasn’t far behind, having insisted on driving the van with all of their belongings inside. Thankfully, their furniture had been brought up and placed weeks ago, so settling in wouldn’t take days as it usually did. As soon as he had climbed from the van, James bounded over to Niki and scooped Kimi up in his arms. “Hello again, darling,” He pecked Niki lightly on the cheek, “Shall we?”  
Niki nodded eagerly, following James to the van and opening the back doors. Oscar, James’ German Shepherd, hopped out onto the tarmac. He began to trot around the surrounding fields, apparently very happy to be out of the stuffy vehicle.  
“How’s he been?” Niki asked, inclining his head towards Oscar.  
“Oh, fine. Spent most of the journey sticking his head out of the window and licking the rear view mirror. What about Kimi?”  
“Good as gold, obviously. I think he likes riding in the car.” Niki ran a thumb over Kimi’s tiny head, smiling tenderly down at his son.  
“Looks like he takes after me then,” James said cheekily, winking.  
“Or me!” Niki retorted, bristled.  
James rolled his eyes. “Don’t get offended, idiot. We both know you’re his favourite.”  
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Niki chuckled, pressing his lips to James’ for the briefest of moments, “I’m sure he loves us both equally.” However, when Kimi noticed Niki’s close proximity, his chubby little hands began to aimlessly grab around, trying to get a fistful of Niki’s clothes or flesh. James stared down at his son with a bemused expression.  
“Does he really?” He asked, a small smile on his face. Niki tutted in reply, and began to pull some of the suitcases from the back of the van.

                About half an hour later, James and Niki were relaxing in the kitchen, propped on top of the large marble island in the middle of the room. Kimi was lightly snoozing in his bassinette, which James had erected as soon as they had come through the back door, which was still ajar, letting a cool breeze into the house. Oscar was close by, curled up at Kimi’s side, having tired himself out by running around the garden while James and Niki unpacked. James’ head was on Niki’s shoulder, and he was greedily breathing in the glorious scent of his partner, nuzzling deeper into his neck due to nothing but animalistic instinct. “You happy we moved?” He murmured into Niki’s throat, as he began to lay feather-light kisses onto warm skin.  
“Very. It’s peaceful here,” James didn’t have to have his eyes open to know that Niki was staring at Kimi as he said this. He would always hate to admit it openly, but Niki was very protective and gentle towards their son, in a way that he wasn’t gentle towards anyone else, not even James. One might even go so far as to call him _maternal._  
“You’re right. Peaceful and private,” James replied meaningfully, moving his lips up to Niki’s ear. He delighted in the shiver that rippled through Niki’s shoulders as James softly bit down on the lobe.  
“Very private.” Niki’s breath was coming out in little huffs now, and he was inclining himself towards James, reaching upwards to grasp at his hair.  
“There is something we have to do, though. A little tradition.”  
“Oh?”  
“Well, there’s a new bed upstairs... and you know what they say about new beds.”  
“Do I?” Niki asked teasingly, cupping the back of James’ neck and pulling him into a deep kiss.  
“I think you do, darling,” James said in the brief moment where they parted lips to change the angle.  
“What about Kimi?”  
“Niki, sweetheart. We live five miles away from the nearest sheep, nevermind the nearest person. Plus, Oscar is here with him. There is nothing to worry about.”

                Except there _was_ something to worry about, that neither of them would have expected. Because, as soon as James had led Niki out of the room, something closed the back door behind itself.


End file.
